People Who Abandon Friendships of 15+ Years Suck Ass. Welcome to My Black Tantrum Drama Queen(Dom).
If you think you are Spiritually Evolving and Need to Cut Out Your "Toxic Friends", You Are The Definition of Weak, Stupid, TikTok New Age Woke Mind Virus Scum
Some people need to grow some balls and learn the Way of Bro when it comes to friendships, as opposed to the Way of the TikTok Woke New Age Bitch.
I’ve been called something like a narcissist, an asshole, a bully, a person who lacks empathy, who is selfish, who doesn’t take other people’s needs into consideration.
I’ve been called demanding, controlling, egotistical, aggressive, and hostile. I’ve been warned by some that if I don’t get my act together, I’m going to fail and that I’m not going to be able to work on projects with other people.
I firmly believe that these people are incorrect. Maybe I won’t be able to work on projects with people like them, and that’s fine.
Because arguing about feelings and words and being a person who lacks empathy is frankly a waste of my time.
I used to think that there was something wrong with having an ego, and believing in yourself so much. That one needs to kill the ego, and withdraw from caring so much about “material reality” and life is just leading up toward our etheric bodies ascending to the heavens.
I don’t believe that anymore.
I believe in the Beauty of Earth, and Perfecting Earth. Heaven to me is not some simulation that you enter after you’ve been a “good girl” here.
I also think part of Earth’s beauty is the Chaos and Darkness (for now).
Even if the ultimate end game of our soul ends up resolving that it is in the etheric celestial sphere, I don’t care so much about ascending the etheric planes at the moment and it’s not part of my current path.
I’m having too much fun trying to shape Earth and I think ascending the physical plane toward the stars is also important.
People who think inner space is more prime than physical outer space are stupid and silly as far as I’m concerned, when it comes to my current set of beliefs.
I see the journey as split between both. Humans will evolve to eventually spread toward the stars, physically. It is encoded within us. The expansion of human consciousness will help aid the physical journey.
Hence I do firmly believe that anyone who is too focused on “spiritual enlightenment” just hates the world too much and is trying to die, more than trying to live.
I think a meditation practice is important for the expansion of one’s consciousness and developing access to hidden senses, but I also believe that one can get lost and believe that “enlightenment” becomes the purpose of life, as opposed to actually living life and building and advancing our techno-social structures.
I recognize that my beliefs are not the Final Truth. I don’t sincerely believe that I’ve reached god-like levels of omniscience. I read, experience, meditate, design, create, and build to move toward having answers that are closer to the Final Truth.
The mystics and sages of the past have definitely unlocked a lot, that I still need to sift through, but I have made a conclusion that it is an incomplete corpus of work, without having read all of the relevant literature yet. The way I see it: if it was complete, we would be living in a world that was more coherent.
Historically, people have tried to create new belief systems, and these new belief systems end up more competing with one another as opposed to pointing toward the set of rules that then leads toward Heaven Being Created on Earth.
Orthodox Christians will point fingers at any technological innovators, calling them the Antichrist, while using their phones connected to the internet to spread their messages.
Perennialists will say that many religions share a common, universal truth and we need to find peace, love, and harmony — while fundamentalists associated to these same “universal religions” think the religions are different and are designing bioweapons to target the out group.
Nietzscheans will proclaim “God Is Dead”. Others will say God never existed, but there is a Logos involved in ordering the chaos.
Some will say Jesus was the most recent, greatest, magician.
Others will say he was a weak magician and role model, and stronger magicians existed before him.
And this will go on. This incoherence will continue, like a complex human neural network, that hasn’t settled yet on what the final solution is, the final solution that ends human war, so we can focus on like alien war instead, or something.
I’d like to hope that one day, the puzzle is resolved and humanity at large has a collective epiphany, an a ha moment. When it comes to religion, while they may all be pointing to some common truth, it is also that some religions came about to divert people from that common truth, where that religion is filled with both truth and lies, and the truth is what results in the religion lasting, yet it still has the baggage of the lies, the baggage which cannot be deleted as the one who Authored the religion, schizophrenically proclaimed that It Was The Word Of God, and hence fooled people to keep Words In Tact and Not Delete Them.
I know how that goes. I’ve felt “connected to something”, I’ve felt like I’m some prophet that is MAINLINING GOD, and that I’m going to save the world!
With the internet, I’ve discovered that there are A LOT of people who go through this! And we aren’t really MAINLINING GOD.
There may be some truthful information we are excavating through this process, but likely a lot of incoherent garbage too.
Religion as we know it, ends, when one recognizes that the religious prophets, sages, and seers were likely for the most part Bipolar I, Manic, Schizophrenic people — who lived in a time, where this type of connection with the Cosmos was not considered a disease, but was considered unique and powerful.
It is a part of my neurology, to hold myself together in a way where even though I KNOW I’M NOT OMNISCIENT, I will act like I am sometimes and I won’t stop. This doesn’t mean that I’m fooling myself and I believe That I’m The Chosen One and that You Must Submit To Me And My Universe.
Nah. It just means I recognize that due to my neurology, I’m predisposed to Feeling Better Than You.
Others can be offended by it, because I believe in most cases, those people don’t believe in themselves enough, hence my over-belief in myself flows over and it becomes some kind of mirror that they can’t deal with anymore.
They think they are better than me, because they internalize their own superiority, and don’t let it bleed out often, because they think that they are being a better person, by controlling their bleed, as opposed to letting it run wild.
I think sometimes these people also have an over-belief in themselves, and they cannot admit that it is their own matched, yet weaker narcissism which results in them having an allergy or distaste for wanting to engage with other narcissists who are cut from the same cloth as them.
They’d rather surround themselves with sycophantic energy: clean narcissistic supply, for their broken souls, as opposed to doing the hard work of focusing on repairing their own shells — shifting the blame to try to edit others, so they remain comfortable in their crystal prison.
But oh — I shouldn’t be so mean!
They had a more traumatic upbringing than I did, they had to suffer more! They had more abuse! And I’m So Evil that I’m rubbing my Strength in their Faces.
I recognize my Queen/Princess split syndrome, and when a neighboring Princess, who still defaults to shifting blame and lacks awareness of what is necessary to grow into the Queen, I laugh at the little Princess who believes she’s more emotionally mature than I am because she holds in all of her rage and anger and frustration and becomes constipated with it and never learns how to take the shit.
The Princess who thinks the game of life is about being totally selfless, egoless, and lacking in pride. Who maybe got exposed to too much Buddhism and it ate her brain.
The Princess who gets hurt by words and being evaluated to be Lesser Than.
The thing is, I think the Ego Wars are funny and don’t take them too personally, because when I get into that Ego War mode, I am not taking myself that seriously.
Sometimes they think that I have not matured enough because I carry Lesser Than / Better Than programming within my neurology, and I need to give up this kind of programming to “Spiritually Ascend”. That being non-hierarchical and spreading love and egalitarianism is the way.
But these Bitches don’t know my End Game.
This is a message to anyone who wants to be my true friend: being my friend means that if you ask me questions about stuff related to you, I will speak honestly, sincerely, and also confusedly, because I’m still sorting, categorizing, shifting, transforming. I’ll rank my path as higher, because I’m betting on my path, I’m not betting on your path. I’m not here to be someone who bets on your path, nor do I have to be a person who develops conviction for your path.
Some people are on complimentary-divergent paths, and other people are on divergent-divergent paths. I seek complimentary-divergents, not divergent-divergents.
But even among my complimentary-divergent peers, I will see myself as on the superior path, because if I didn’t, then I would be a follower to a person who is on a complimentary-divergent path that I like, as opposed to a leader of a distinct path.
I have the Princess/Queen split, and haven’t fully killed the Princess. I’m in a growth phase.
It doesn’t mean that my sincerity is The Final Truth.
It doesn’t mean that I have assessed the situation properly or thoroughly, since my emotional Princess gets in the way sometimes.
I’m still alive, I’m still living, and I’m still learning.
I require the freedom to make very declarative, messy, and assertive statements.
You can debate me. Or you can just run away. I don’t care. But I’ll call you weak and stupid for running away.
I don’t actually need you, if your purpose in life with friendships is trying to integrate Behavior Modification Protocols on someone because Words Still Hurt you.
Additionally, if you are slinging insults at me, I’ll sling them back at you.
If you’re respectful to me, I’ll be respectful to you.
I’ll mirror you, until you break, run away, or transform.
The problem is, you are not going to break me by insulting me, and your error in your weak ass sorcery is thinking you are actually doing sorcery on me. It’s like someone hitting me with a butter knife when I am wielding a sword.
Bitch, you are not a Black Tantric artist, stop pretending, if you were, you wouldn’t always run away and hide.
You’re so afraid of Darkness and Chaos and your Transmutation Skills are scored 1 on a scale of 10.
You don’t transmute Darkness, you run. You should consider wearing White and Red, because the Black doesn’t actually suit you.
I won’t mirror you just to discard you, because I can deal with your mirroring.
I can Handle Thee Darkness. You are a Darkness Poser.
How many more years of therapy and meditation are needed for you to handle Darkness?
You aren’t proving anything to me by mirroring me, without any intention of continuing to be in my life. It’s just really embarrassing actually that you try to poorly engage in black tantric arts and then you end it with “go fuck yourself”.
You’re not being a Better Person. You’re being a Weaker Person who can’t handle strong feminine energy besides your own, who thinks that you are Better Than all of your ex-Female BFFs.
When you’re just as insane.
You’re just being a Stupid, Mean Girl, a Little Bitch.
A Princess, Not a Queen.
Fuck off to you too.
Here is your Black Tantric Princess Medicine.
Note that: I have no hatred, no curses directed toward you, and also no well wishes. Just harsh medicine. No Good Luck to you on your path from my end anymore.
With this more Final Goodbye.
My energy at you is neutral now.
I withdraw and take back any energetic support that I have ever contributed to your field.
I don’t want to be part of you field anymore.
I reject any “Love” you extend towards me.
I reject any of your Prayers.
You can have ALL of your energy back.
The Cord Is Officially Almost Cut.
There’s just one final act, sometime in the future: I’ll put on the market some NFTs that I commissioned to honor the the funeral of our Friendship, and all the other Ex-Besties.
It doesn’t even matter if anyone buys them or not.
Transmutation, you know.
Goodbye, Bitches.
The War Is Almost Over.
There are likely grammatical errors in this post. I don’t care to refine it further. This is mostly straight from the stream, with a few edits made after the fact.